Swimming

Swimming

There is just something about being in the water
Suddenly everything gets so much clearer
The pounding in my head
The feeling of dread
My body seems so light
Nothing feels tight
I could be in the pool all day
This is when I hear everyone say
 Don't you ever tire?
Of swimming? Are you kidding? I don't even perspire!
It's the best of both for me
Playing with kids, and feeling so free
One of the kids favorite things to do
Is pick me up, and carry me around the pool
It's such a great feeling to not have to say
Don't even try, you can't pick me up anyway
I'm so thankful for my pool
Without it, I couldn't keep my cool
Having 6 kids all summer can really test your sanity
Without my pool, I wouldn't come back to rationality

I got an award!

Somehow I Won the Kreativ Blogger Award

Thanks to the Real housewife of Santee

There are rules attached as with most peer blogger awards. The rules are easy, fun rules so I will try to follow them all. 

1. Thank and link back to the awarding blog. 

2. Answer seven questions.

3. Provide 10 random factoids about yourself. (This one is tough.)

4. Hand the award on to 7 deserving others. 


Question #1: What is your favorite song?
I know it's going to be hard to believe but I don't really listen to music. I hear it in the car, and from the kids blasting it of course. So I don't have a favorite song. When I was young, I guess you could say Whitesnake, Is this Love.....hubby and I used to say this was our song.
 
Question #2: What's your favorite desert? 
I love dessert. If I had to pick, I would say cake.  Chocolate cake, yellow cake fancy cakes, home cakes....now I want cake! LOL

Questions #3: What do you when you're upset?
Hmmmm, well I am one of those people who don't cry often. Maybe once a year...I get angry, and like to punch, so my hubby bought me a punching bag. I love it. Best present ever.

Question #4: What is your favorite pet? 
Having no pets. We had a dog once and getting rid of it was the best decision I ever made. It's just something else for me to look after, clean up after and take to the vet. Um, no thanks, still taking 6 kids to the doc is enough!

Question #5: Which do you prefer, white or whole-wheat bread? 
I prefer white, but eat healthy bread now.

Question #6: What is your biggest fear? 
I would have to say something happening to one of my my kids. Like terminal illness, or you know.....can't even go there........

Question #7: What is your attitude mostly? 
Im actually pretty optimistic. I always think things will work out, and I try to see the best in situations. I make mistakes, but I typically  say, I can, I will, I'm sure and I choose to.

Ten random facts:

1.  I love my husband and children more than life itself
2.  I love food
3.  I love to watch TV and movies
4.  I love to swim
5.  I love my iPad
6.  I love pictures, I look at some everyday and smile at the memories
7.  I love to read
8.  I love to be home
9.  I am serious, and tend to over think things 
10.  The worst thing you could do is lie to me

Now that you know more about little ol' me, go on over and check out some of these blogs I love:

1 Mommetime : I love her, she has an amazing miracle baby story, takes amazing pictures, feels deeply, and is so real and honest.

2 Homestyle Mama (with a side of Autism): she never has a dull moment around her house. She is so kind, open, and will make the time for you if you need her.

3 Red Vines and Red Wine: we have so much in common, from food to our kids, she calls her daughter teenzilla! Cracks me up

4 Non stop mom: this is one strong woman, she's been through a lot and is very open about it.  I love following her life

5 Frugalista  Blog: she cracks me up! She has such a great sense of humor, and we share similar views on parenting.

6 Twins Happen: I love having another mom I can talk twins with. She calls her boys Turkeys, and they are the cutest!

7. Just another Tired mommy: well, the name says it all, we are both tired! Plus she's from Jersey, so what's not to like?

Restless

Lately I feel a little restless I guess you would call it. I'm breathing real heavy on the big 4-0, and it's making me reflect on my life. Am I where I want to be? Am I happy? What now? I'm feeling like the having baby days are over. I always said I didn't want to be 40 and pregnant, and honestly since the twins I feel complete as a mom. They are the perfect end. Ok, one decision made, now what? Of course they are still young and I have a house full of kids, I get that. But what now for me? I have devoted the last 20 years of my life to my family. I don't really have friends, and I don't work outside the home. Does it matter? Do I need a life outside this house? Do I want a life outside this house? What would it look like? Will I regret not having a life outside this house? 
Sometimes I feel like doing something crazy. Totally out of character from what I would do. I am a very predictable person. I like routine, and do the same things all the time. I love to be home. For me, even going to Starbucks with my oldest is out of character. My husband was like, oh you're going where? Why? I can make coffee. Then I think, what would I do? What do I want to do? 
I have started making some changes, small ones, like asking for help, not cooking all the time, saying no to the kids, saying yes to the kids, working out, and you know what? It's ok. Now I wonder, what took me so long? My husband definitely knows something is up, he's never sure what kind of mood I'm in, or what I'm expecting from him. You know what else? I like it like that!
I also have the kids do more. The new rule is you do for me I do for you. Drama queen wanted to sleep out, she had to clean her room, put laundry away and clean their bathroom.
So all these things for some reason leave me feeling restless. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I know change is coming, and I don't like change? Maybe I'm just afraid. Afraid of the unknown. When I was young, I was always focused on the next thing. Having a baby, buying a house, cooking etc.  Now my children are growing up, I'm growing old, and I have no idea what the next thing is! I don't even have a clue what I want as the next thing!

Enjoying the little things

I'm not missing a moment.....

It's so weird to me how days drag on, yet years fly by. Sometimes I don't feel old enough for my life, and other times I feel like an old lady! The one thing I can say for sure is I definitely take time now to savor everyday. Even on my bad days, there is always something beautiful that happens. 
Having a large family is quite the adventure. The teens make 2yr old tantrums enjoyable, since I know once they calm down we hug it out and mommy made it all better. Your teenager can be a jerk for dayyysss!!!
The middle ones say the funniest things, and have the most interesting perspective, since they are trying to figure out what everything means. For example my 8yr old says mom I wish I was a boy. I said why? She says because girls have to the hatch the babies and it hurts! My  11 yr old son says I'm not going to waste my money on girls. Why not? I ask. He says because you buy all that stuff and they might not even like you!
Every time my 2yr olds look around, I look too! They are amazed at everything! The sky, birds, bugs, grass, rocks (they call them rock-o) driving in the car, trucks, flowers, people! They say hi to everyone! When I go to SAMs club I joke that they would make great greeters. 
It's such  bittersweet times as my babes are learning to go out on their own. Once one graduates HS, it really goes fast. In August I will have oldest out on her own, a senior in HS, a freshman in HS, a sixth grader, a fourth grader and 2  1/2 year old twins! Wow, 20 years....such a long time, yet it went soooo fast! I sure have had one blessed life, and am so thankful for everyday.

Day with hubby

I sooo needed a break, so hubby and I went out. Well I've been doing so good I didn't really want to go out to eat and wreck my whole week. So we went to Chick Fil A. Yeah, I'm a cheap date, but it was really good and not a billion calories! 
After lunch we went driving. My husband has been thinking about selling his truck. He's kind of tired of it, the gas etc. so we went to see some cars. We looked at an SUV, and a Dodge Magnum. My husband really liked the magnum, it was red, but something just wasn't right so we left. After the next place we realized he lost his cell phone! After freaking out, and frantic phone calls, it turned out we left it at the first dealer we went to!! Ahhhhhhhh, so of course by the time we went back, I'm like ok. I had enough. On the way home he saw one more. This one was white, and had all the extras he wanted! Since we really aren't desperate we laughed at their first offer. They obviously really wanted my husbands Avalanche because they made us an offer we couldn't refuse! We did an EVEN trade. Yes you read that correctly!!! So after 2 hours, we drive off the lot in a new car!! Well new to us anyway!!! What an awesome day! Even if it ended up all about my hubby! Now he's happy, and when he's happy, mama is happy :)
Not too mention, the kids were so good! I love having older kids that can watch the little ones for me. So now, older girls sleeping out,babes in bed, my son and daughter having another sleepover and me and hubby get to hang out alone!! 
Wooooo!!! Time for some drinks!!!!

A day in the life....

Library

How could I forget what an adventure it is to go out with my 6 kids? We were signing up for the library program for the summer. As soon as I walked in with the kiddos I could feel eyes on me. The young girl signing up the kids was so funny. She's like you need 6? I said yes, 6. Oh ok, then it went ok until it was time to pick a first prize. Why do the kids always worry about what everyone else is getting? Oh mom, you should get the twins this, and he should get this. NO, you pick out your own and move on. I got the twins 2 different things since if they are in the mood they will fight over the same exact thing anyway. Then I picked buttons for the older girls. The one kid is like you're not supposed to give her the bag to pick from. No big deal, everyone finally got their prize and off we went to check out the library. It's hard to say no to books and free movies! All of a sudden my girl yells POOP! Of course the library was completely quiet during this time. Thank God I have teens, and my daughter quickly ran her to the bathroom. I was looking at some cook books when the girls come running over so excited about George and Elmo! I told them shhh it's a quiet place. I think they were louder telling each other to shhh! LOL then it was check out time. By this time it was time to get out quick. Thankfully my older girls got the babes in the car while I checked out. So 23 movies and 11 books later we were out of there! (yes I know, we love movies :))
On the way home I stopped at SAMs club for some dinner. I got talked into getting their credit card so I could save $20 on this order. OMG! It took so long! The kids were getting restless. The twins threw their toys at the lady 2 times, saying home, home, my son was touching the computer and making noises, my older girls were like mom please, this is taking long and it's embarrassing. I'm like we'll twenty bucks is twenty bucks so I'm not leaving. The lady was so nice, she kept saying sorry this is taking long, and I'm like sorry my girls threw their toy, and my son is touching EVERYTHING!
Finally we were out of there and it was a kid picked dinner tonight, tater tots, cheese quesadillas, tortilla chips and cucumbers.
WHEW, I'm done.....

Birthdays

Isn't it funny how when you are a kid you can't wait until your birthday! Everything about it is so exciting. What kind of party, a home party or one out. What kind of cake and who is coming. Then the most exciting part of it all....you are one year older! I used to love home parties and ice cream cake when I was a kid.  First it's 10, suddenly you are double digits and you are on your way. Then 13 comes around and it's like wow, I'm a teenager, oh yeah!! Then 16, oh sweet 16....driving permits, sometimes a license depending where you live, proms, boyfriends, never a dull moment. Then 18, wow, I graduated HS, I'm a legal adult, and it's time to get my life started. The next big mile stone is 21. Lucky 21. Suddenly it's I'm legal!! I can drink alcohol!! Being in your 20's is an amazing time. Still so young yet getting older and more mature every year.  I got married and had kids right away, so for me my 20's were all about being a mom and homemaker. Then one day you are 29. This is when you start thinking, um wow...I'm getting old, 30?! No way...am I where I wanted to be by now? 30 comes and goes and it's not bad. You feel mature, still young enough to be considered hot, and most people can't believe your not in your 20's you look so good. Someone said to me once that you're not even really an adult until you are 35. In my head I laughed it off and thought, yeah that's because you are old. Then it happened to me. I turned 35. Seriously I can't believe how different I felt, my outlook on life, and what was really important. It's like suddenly things are starting to come into focus. The things that seemed so important in your 20's suddenly seem so dumb, shallow even. My focus switched to what's best for my family, not what everyone else thinks is best for my family. A big issue for me was children. Even family wasn't very supportive when we had 5 children.  So you could imagine what was said when I was 37 and pregnant with twins!! Now I'm just a couple short months away from 40, and wow. 40... Honestly, there is nothing I like about it. It's a terrible number, it makes me feel old and everything is harder already. I still have 23 pounds on me from the twins and  I have a hard time sleeping now! Alright, the one positive thing is I'm more confident in who I am and who I am not. I don't look for other peoples approval, or advice. I live my life on my own terms, finally! If I don't feel like doing something, I don't do it. I really don't have much mommy guilt. I do my best and that's all I can do. It's freeing, actually saying no. I am learning to stop looking for the next thing, and focus on today, and what I have. Time goes so quickly, and it's so uncertain. For now, I am still focused on being a wife and mother. What the future holds? I'm still not sure.....I will have to let you know in the next five years :)