Tuesday, January 15, 2013

It just doesn't make sense to me........

Strong willed, compliant, typical, special needs~It doesn't matter what you have or what you call it, Parenting is HARD! Whether you have 1 or 12 children it' still HARD! Married, single, blended, still HARD! Stay at home, working, still HARD! Different parenting styles, different kids~ we all still have the same goal. We want responsible, loving, well adjusted, successful children, who will always be close to their family. Do you really think parents rub their pregnant bellies saying, I hope you grow up to be the biggest asshole, I hope you give us a hard time everyday for the rest of your life? Of course not, give me a break! I still want to know why as parents, and especially women, do you waste so much time and energy competing, comparing and cutting each other down? Why can't we spend that same time and energy encouraging each other?
How much better would you feel after a shitty day with the kids for someone to come along side you, whether literally or online, and say, I UNDERSTAND, I've been there, this mom stuff isn't for wimps, hang in there, better days are coming.
How about the mom who has the out of control teenager? How nice it would be to hear, sorry you are going through that right now, you're a GOOD MOM, she will come around, you have done all you can do, I'm here if you need me to just talk, vent, or cry to.
How about the mom who is so lost and confused about the best way to help her child? How nice it would be to hear, you're doing a good job, He's lucky to have you, it must be so hard, you're a GOOD MOM, I'm here if you need me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to fight for your child's education EVERYDAY? To see your child with love, kindness, compassion, always wanting the best for him and sending them to a place that doesn't understand him at all? Do you have any idea how much time these moms spend researching, emailing, talking, and going to meetings? Do you know the horror of sitting in a meeting with a room full of people who don't really give a shit about your child and all they say is how "low" he is, and they even have charts on it? Well if you don't, let me tell you, you are LUCKY!
How about the mom whose oldest child goes off and does her own thing, which is the complete opposite of how she was raised and what the parents expected...How nice it would be to hear, you're a GOOD MOM, she is a GOOD KID, she is just finding her way, it will be OKAY!
Do you know how that judgement feels? To be praised for your child's success, only to be judged and put down and how now you are a shitty mom, for her failures?
Next time you see "that mom" take a pause, and think how she must be feeling. Instead of a glare, snicker, or a rude comment, try offering her a warm smile, a hug, or a kind word. It will go a long way, I promise you.