I've come to realize the secret is you have to have your own life outside of your kids... You know why? Well for starters they are kids and don't care about things the way you do, it's all about them and how much they can get.. If that's not enough they grow up and move out to have their own life!
Your kids can't be your only happiness... There are so many ups and downs, disappointments, bad choices that if you personalize every one you won't be able to function. Let it ride, they are kids, they will learn, go do what makes YOU happy.
You can be too involved and probably are... This has snuck up on me, it is so easy to do things for your child, work things out for them etc.. We convince ourselves that it's what good moms do.
You're damned if you do and damned if you don't... Meaning your kids want your opinion but they don't want you to disagree with them.
I always thought my problem with my mom was her, now having grown daughters I'm realizing some of it is me! I guess it's inevitable that we become the annoying mom!