Sunday, August 12, 2012

I'm 40!

40

It's so weird to me
How can this be?
I used to think,  when I'm 40,  I will have this or that
Now I have 7 children,  and  I  feel fat
Life looks so different now
I'm still trying to figure out how
Days drag on, yet years fly by
I wish I knew why
Now I'm just figuring out how to feel free
To be the wife, mother, friend and me
I'm still filled with so many questions, what now?
Soon I will have the freedom to come and go, do I even know how?
So many women complain about being bored and alone
I have no idea what that feels like, I can barely use the phone!
People say I need a life 
What's wrong with being a wife?
Outside the house you say
But I don't know if I want it anyway
How can I be so old, yet so lost? Somedays I feel like a child
Other days I just want the freedom to run wild
All these changes, coming so quickly
How do I keep it together when I feel so uneasy?
I wish I could get some of my young minded ness back
Like the confidence of my youth I now lack
I used to feel so sure of what I want, always looking to the next thing
Now its so unclear, I guess that's what happens when you have everything
I have the husband, the house, the kids, I guess it's time for me
Which brings me back to the beginning, how can this be?