Sunday, August 19, 2012

The cry of my heart.....

The cry of my heart......

Sometimes I sit and wonder
What is my problem anyway?
Then reality hits.....
My oldest is lost, finding her way
I barely understand, so how could you?
Rude comments, judgements, making me feel like a bad mother
My genius child, the peacemaker, always last since I know she's ok
But is she? The pressure of being the "good one" hopefully isn't too much
My drama queen, always testing, always pushing, trying to rush her life away
My special boy, always misunderstood, getting in trouble, you think it's a discipline problem, or he's just a mamas boy...you have no clue
The 9 year old who chooses not to listen, yes I am fully aware she doesn't have a hearing problem, she is finding her way, her own voice in a house of so many
The twins, need I say more? Of course they are overwhelming, loud, non stop they are 2! That's their job
Why is it no one sees the joy?
How I have maintained a relationship with my oldest, when we are so very different. How we are evolving from mommy daughter to mom and daughter, who loves her unconditionally? Who always wants her best? How we can talk for hours, about life...and laugh...the fact she came back to me?
How amazing it is I have a daughter so driven, to be at the top of her senior class? Who will not only graduate with honors, who will receive an academic scholarship anywhere? Who is everyone's favorite, her calm loving spirit, what an amazing tennis player she is, how her dream is to go pro?
How drama queen is so strong? She is not easily led, she knows what she wants, how she shares her talent for fashion, make up and hair with everyone? How when I need her, she is there for me. She is more than capable to run the house for me
How amazing my son is! He is hilarious! With the kindest, loving heart you will ever meet. He just wants to help, wants to fit in, wants to be accepted
How my 9 year old is so loving! How incredible her imagination is!  She makes her own fun, enjoys crafts, drawing, and now playing her flute!
Seriously, just having twins is amazing! I could write a book about it! They are so smart, and their relationship with each other and the rest of the family brings me joy everyday.
This crazy, stressful life no one understands, is my reason for being here. My purpose, my joy, my every breath.