Bring it!!

So far this year is off to a trying start to say the least. It's like the kids forgot where they live, what type of mom I am and all the rules! They have been testing me from lying to disrespect, even twins got in on the action and did some backtalk! It's like even though I didn't say it out loud things were going to good. So now between the home stuff, bad grades, an in school suspension and wild twins I seriously had to put it down. I will not stop moving forward.

 I realized life is pushing back because big change is in the air around here. It started last year and it will only continue to evolve. This August the twins will start school and for the first time in my life there will be no more babies for me. It's bittersweet but at the same time very exciting! You see I got married at 19 and by the time I was 20 had a baby. I never really just thought about myself. I've been in the thick of kids and babies for over 20 years! I feel like I can actually put myself first for a change! To be honest it's weird, and I don't want to waste time feeling guilty. I've put my time in and now it's time for me! 

First step is reclaiming my body. As you can imagine having 7 kids has taken its toll. I'm eating better and working out. My focus is on feeling good, healthy and strong.

As long as my husband can handle it I plan to stay home. It may sound silly but I'm really looking forward to being alone! Maybe even bored and lonely! I have no idea what that feels like. I also just want to be able to do what I want when I want without an audience. You know the simple things, shower maybe even watch TV and not put the subtitles on. 

I want to figure out who I am besides wife and mother. Being a mother is the best part of me but I also know my identity can't be wrapped up in my kids. Having a big family has taught me that I have to have healthy boundaries or else I would have a nervous breakdown every time my kids did something wrong. I need to be strong and teach them how to cope with life's ups and downs.

So bring it 2015, I'm getting ready!

Enjoy the little things

 

 

Is it just me or do you have a hard time with this as well? You would think something as simple as this would be easy to do but honestly it's the complete opposite. Sometimes I'm so focused on what I have to do, the last thing I feel I have time to do is enjoy anything. The day goes so fast, I hardly ever accomplish all I need to in one day. I get so tired of the cooking, cleaning, wiping, laundry etc, and before I know it the kids are home, and it's I'm hungry, getting homework done, usually the bickering starts and I still have to figure out what time tryouts are done, drama queen has work and then of course cooking dinner! Whew… I have to make an effort every day to take the time to notice, let alone enjoy the little things! So here is my list for today…….

The weather was nice and I sat outside for a few minutes and felt the sun on my face.

My older daughter is still home from college.

The girls got juggle bubbles, and to see them smiling, laughing, bouncing bubbles around the living room brought a smile to my face.

 

 

 

Of course what I always enjoy is the quiet of the night when everyone is asleep!

 

What 2014 has taught me

When the year started I was feeling pretty down. I felt like everyone gets to do what they want except me, I was feeling fat and frumpy , and  out of shape. I decided it was time to make myself a priority and be confident in who I am.

So this is what I learned this year…….

 

It's ok if the house isn't totally picked up.

Dishes, laundry, toys on the floor,  etc will still be there tomorrow and the world won't come to an end.

 

It's ok for me to put myself first.

This has been the hardest, biggest change I have made this year. I still don't do it every day, but I always make sure I do at least one thing for myself EVERY DAY. Sometimes it's a really small thing, like a shower, a piece of chocolate, a show I want to watch. I have left the house alone to do something selfish and fun like my hair, or nails! I can't tell you how awesome that has been. I wanted my hair done for Christmas and so much needed to be done, so while I was getting my hair done my husband went food shopping!

 

Making the time to work out is worth it!

I try and work out as often as I can. Ideally 5-7 days a week but even 3 is ok. Not only have I lost 15 pounds, I dropped two sizes and best of all I feel strong and fit! I got a new kettle bell workout for Christmas and I can't wait to start it.

 

I finally feel confident enough in my parenting to tell anyone to step back, we are not looking for co parents!

Have you ever noticed when something major happens it's in front of other people? After Christmas my son got in trouble, and of course he was with his grandparents so they knew what happened. This time my husband and I were a united  front and even he told his parents to back off.

 

Parenting is a dance of keeping your kids close and letting go so they mature and get independent.

I hate when people say things like raise them right, trust your kids etc. The reality is good kids make bad choices, they know what's right and choose bad anyway. We always want to trust our kids, but sometimes we know we can't.

I realized family dynamics, ages of children etc are different for every family and its ok if someone doesn’t understand mine.

 

I'm exactly where I want to be.

Getting older is funny to me, I'm 42 years old and people still feel the need to tell me things I should be doing. Recently one of my husbands friends was over, and he asked me when the twins start school if I was going to work, and how even a little job making $350 a week would be nice, right? Um wrong! First of all not only is it none of his business but I'm exactly where I want to be. I know many people don't get it, and the art of being a homemaker is getting lost, but I don't plan on working. I want to give the twins the same experience all my other kids got. I want to help in the classroom, have lunch  with them, be home when they are out of school. Why should my older kids get them to and from school, help with homework and start dinner? It's my job and I'm not giving it up.

 

This is my mantra..

I am fit

I am a good mother/wife

I am HAPPY

I love my children for who they are

I focus on positive good things

I am proud of my family

 

~One Tired Mama