I thought I would share some of the things I do to keep my family running.
I have House Values hung up on my refrigerator
Being an (our last name) is special. We're not just out for ourselves; we work as a team. When a job needs to be done the team pulls together. We work hard to clean up the house, or whatever else needs to be done. We also have special privileges as a family. We go out to eat, play family games and spend quality time together. We treat each other as special. Meanness is not acceptable here because it does not fit with who we are. Angry outbursts require an apology because hurtful words aren't consistent with the idea that we value each other.
We honor each other in this house which means treating each other as special,
doing more than what's expected and having a good attitude.
I also have a list of house rules and consequences hanging up
1. When mom or dad says to do something, just do it and say ok
2. Listen when someone is talking to you
3. Don't just do something, ask first
4. Keep your voices low in an inside voice at all times
5. When there is a problem, come and get mom or dad to help you
6. Keep your hands, feet, and objects to yourself
7. No back talking mom or dad
Consequences: no snack, early bedtime, no tv, no gaming/computer time, no phone, toys taken away, missing out on what the rest of the family is doing, time out, time in your room, writing about offense
Rewards: stay up later, extra gaming time, praise, enjoying what the family is doing, spending quality time with mom or dad, having a special snack.
We will be kind to one another, appreciate each other, and help out when needed
Ok, something's might seem confusing. I have a lot of consequences because I have all age ranges. Here is an example. We are driving in the car to go get ice cream. The kids are not behaving, arguing, she's looking at me that kind of nonsense. I say cut it out or you won't get any ice cream. Everyone stops but my daughter. Why should we all not get ice cream? So her consequence was no ice cream while we had it. Did she freak out? Yep. Did she throw a tantrum? Yep. Guess what? Next time we went out, Everyone was good in the car. One time they were all acting up, I said I will turn this car around and go home! Guess what happened? Yep, I turned the car around and went home. Now if I say it, They know I will and they don't want to blow it.
When you have a large family alone time with mom or dad not only is important, the kids want it. So if you're on you're best behavior you can run an errand with one of us. Or my hubby has taken one to work, they get a slush, or just some alone time.
We also have family meetings. When things seem to be getting out of hand we sit around the table and discuss what is going on. When school is out we have a meeting about the summer and what's expected. It takes at least a week for the kids to get used to being home, and around each other all day.
We are not perfect by any means. I deal with annoying behavior all day, everyday! But my older children have told me they have better sibling relationships than a lot of their friends. That means the world to me. :)