Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Rebellious



It's quite interesting breathing heavy on the big 4-0 and having 2 year olds. I've come to realize that I think I am in the throes of a mid life temper tantrum! When the kids don't get their way, they whine, throw a fit which sometimes entails them throwing themselves down to the ground where they proceed to kick and roll around. As I was watching this the other day I realized, wow, I would love to do that! But being the responsible adult that I am, I figured out a better way to handle things. I have decided to treat everyone the way they treat me. I am so tired of all the bullshit, day in and day out! Kids fighting, whining, not getting their way and acting  ridiculous over nothing. So now, I too have selective hearing. It's funny because my 14 yr old has noticed and I can tell by her reaction she is not enjoying it. Take yesterday for example. She wanted her friend to come over. She was a jerk to her little sister all afternoon. I acted like I didn't hear her. By the time her dad came home, we had dinner it was getting late. She asked again and was under the assumption that I said yes. I said ask dad, which of course he replied NO. She was not happy at all! I have to say, so far today, she is staying out of trouble. Smart girl. With the other younger kids, things working out as well. When they ask for a snack, I pretend I  didn't understand the question. Then after a few minutes, I'm like, oh you were talking to me? I didn't hear you. Then if they are acting ridiculous over nothing, like shes sitting too close to me on the couch, or she made faces, or he walked in front of the TV and so on... I just take away whatever they wanted in the moment.
Here is where the problem starts. I have realized I am doing this with my husband as well. Needless to say, he is less than amused. I am trying to figure out how it all started. Is he starting with me? Or am I just rebelling against everybody? I feel like he is telling me what to do, and how to do it. Like he is blaming me for every annoying thing the kids do. But is he really? Or am I just the one with the problem? Is this just more of typical stay at home mom stuff?
Then the whole Internet thing. He was so funny last night asking me all these questions and saying I knew it. You're addicted. First of all I could have told you that, second of all who cares? The real reason I'm on all the time is I don't have a life outside my house. I stay home with the kids. I don't have many friends. My online life is just exciting to me. Yes , I use it as an escape. So what? I look at it this way, there are plenty of worse things I could be addicted to! Even my online life is the real me! I'm a mommy blogger for crying out loud! What does he think I'm doing? Plus it's not a secret. He knows about it and can read it if he wants. The rebelliousness comes in where I don't need him telling me when I can and can't be online. I'm not a child. So yes, often I go on when he is home just to prove I can. Dumb I know, but honestly? I don't want to stop, so I probably won't. I think if I ever really got a life outside this house, my family would be in total shock. Who knows, maybe that's my next addiction.......;)