Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Identity

I made the biggest mistake ever recently! I told my husband sometimes I don't know who I am. Well let's just say he had no clue what the hell I was talking about and of course brought it back to him saying what you don't want to be my wife anymore? Um seriously this has nothing to do with you this is about me. Sometimes I feel so lost in all my roles that sometimes I forget who I am, what I like etc. I am always hubby's wife and my kids mother. Is that enough? Do I need to be more? Who says I need something else? As if all this isn't complicated enough we also as moms find our identity in our children. It's so easy when your kids give you so many reasons to be proud of them. But what about when things don't go "right" whatever that is anyway. When my daughter moved out with her boyfriend that's when I saw the shift. All of a sudden it was ohhhh, and the looks, and the bullshit she will come back to the right way. WTF? Is that suppoesed to mean anyway? There is nothing wrong with my daughter. She is young and in love and doesn't realize the BIG picture of what she is doing. But if we're honest when we were young did we see the "big" picture? Then my son has his issues. Now that he's almost 11 I hear annoying shit like oh he knows what he's doing or saying. Oh and this ones my favorite I need to discipline him more! When he was younger it wasn't as obvious. Now if I explain anything I get those other looks ohhhhh I see. Yeah bitch what do you see? Don't feel sorry for me I love that boy, he might not get it academically but he will have life skills! Not to mention he is hilarious! All this comes back around and so my answer then is yes. Yes it's enough for me to raise my 7 children with all the ups, downs, proud moments, embarrassing moments,the really awesome ones that you wish would never end and the ones that can't end quick enough! So then I am me, hubby's wife and One Tired Mama!