Friday, January 27, 2012

This isn't how I raised you...

....that's not how I raised you...what an interesting statement...when your kids are little you aren't even really thinking about how the future will be, it's more like survival, make sure their needs are met etc...then school starts, they are still so young and innocent...you shelter, and protect, teach, and guide them...before you know it they are in HS...then the real fun begins..what movies can they watch, dating when what are the rules? Do you let them have any alone time? Driving? Is it better if they drive themselves? Watching your teen drive away for the first time is one of those things until you experience it you don't know how you will feel...Parties? What kind of party? Will the parents be home? Will there be alcohol?...Friends?..who are you hanging out with? I need to meet them..Sleepovers, uh NO...do you think im stupid? So you can sneak out and go somewhere I told you not to?..the Mall..do I let my teen daughter hang out at the mall with her friends? What are you doing there?..Movies..which one? Alone? With boyfriend? Getting a job...where is this job? College....Rules...My house My rules...And on and on the decisions go....I sheltered my oldest as long as possible...is that why when she turned 18 she went in the complete opposite direction of everything she was taught?...should I have let her do more?...did I screw it all up somehow?...did I tell her too much?....too little?....what now?...why are you settling for so little when you are so amazing and deserve so much more?...life is so hard...why would you start sooo much harder than you have to?...how could she go against everything? I didn't raise her that way! There I said it! I've thought it and people have said it to me. How can I be so arrogant as to think I have control over what someone else is doing? Or what they feel is right for them? And when I'm honest about it, what is my daughter doing that I haven't done myself? Then the voice...I haven't heard it in quite awhile...you hypocrite! Things may not be going how you planned but she is exactly where I want her. Um wow, thank you Lord for clearing that up for me.....